"Man Charged With Exposing Himself On Interstate 89"
A St. Albans man was arrested by Franklin County Sheriff's deputies Aug. 13 after he allegedly exposed himself to a woman on I-89 around 5AM. According to the victim, the 44 year-old man would pass her vehicle on the highway, pull onto the shoulder and then expose himself, "manipulating his testicles" while she passed him.
Top 5 Worst Pickup Lines Heard While Exposing Yourself on I-89:
5. I was flying the creepy/perv flag at half-mast.
4. How much cash for this clunker?
3. Nice Ford Focus...wanna f*ck?
2. Is that a dipstick in your hand or are you just manipulating your testicles?
And the number 1 worst pickup line heard while exposing yourself on I-89...
1. Today's forecast...partly cloudy with a chance of Flanagan.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
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1. The greatest invention of the 21st Century has arrived:
You can now buy chocolate-covered bacon-on-a-stick...hardwood-smoked honey-cured bacon,
that's been put on a stick and covered in milk chocolate.
This completes the three-point hat trick of greatest inventions of all time...beer, birth control, and now chocolate-covered bacon on a stick...deelish.
2. The state of Florida has taken the lead in indoor marijuana cultivation.
Way to go Vermont...way to drop the ball on the one thing you got off yer ass and were good at.
I guess it can't be all gravy fries and hackey sacks...or can it duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude??!!
You can now buy chocolate-covered bacon-on-a-stick...hardwood-smoked honey-cured bacon,
that's been put on a stick and covered in milk chocolate.
This completes the three-point hat trick of greatest inventions of all time...beer, birth control, and now chocolate-covered bacon on a stick...deelish.
2. The state of Florida has taken the lead in indoor marijuana cultivation.
Way to go Vermont...way to drop the ball on the one thing you got off yer ass and were good at.
I guess it can't be all gravy fries and hackey sacks...or can it duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude??!!
Monday, June 8, 2009
POWBLOG5
Recently a two-minute video was posted on YouTube depicting a large "creature" swimming on Lake Champlain in Burlington. Once again, the question about the existence of "Champ" has been brought to the forefront of the discussion table. Several resident cryptozoologists have weighed in with their expert opinions. By the way, if you're like myself and have no idea what a cryptozoologist does...here's a definition:
Cryptozoology –noun
the study of evidence tending to substantiate the existence of, or the search for, creatures whose reported existence is unproved, as the Abominable Snowman or the Loch Ness monster.
After I'm done sexting with Tinkerbell, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and myself are headed over to Breakwaters for a nacho plate and a couple of Bud Lights before we get onboard a gaggle of unicorns and cruise for chicks while riding off into the sunset.
Cryptozoology –noun
the study of evidence tending to substantiate the existence of, or the search for, creatures whose reported existence is unproved, as the Abominable Snowman or the Loch Ness monster.
After I'm done sexting with Tinkerbell, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and myself are headed over to Breakwaters for a nacho plate and a couple of Bud Lights before we get onboard a gaggle of unicorns and cruise for chicks while riding off into the sunset.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
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The makers of Jim Beam are rolling out a cherry-flavored bourbon called Red Stag. Not to be confused with Saturday night's ginger-flavored error in judgement...she was more like a Red Skag.
New border crossing requirements kicked in earlier this week. The only way to visit Canada or Mexico is to have a passport or the newly issued enhanced driver's license (EDL).
Although if you're sneaking across the border on foot, under the cover of night with condoms filled with the finest of Bolivian powder shoved up your "inverted volcano", your "dirty penny"...there's a good chance you have already stopped reading this.
New border crossing requirements kicked in earlier this week. The only way to visit Canada or Mexico is to have a passport or the newly issued enhanced driver's license (EDL).
Although if you're sneaking across the border on foot, under the cover of night with condoms filled with the finest of Bolivian powder shoved up your "inverted volcano", your "dirty penny"...there's a good chance you have already stopped reading this.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
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Dunkin Donuts only charging 50 cents for a small iced coffee today. Ben & Jerry's holding its 31st annual Free Cone Day from 12noon to 8PM today. If you listen closely, you can actually hear me getting fatter. My apologies to you fishnet speedo...your stunning spring '09 debut has been delayed yet again.
A 50 person pillow fight broke out on Church St. over the weekend, arrests were made for disorderly conduct. This just in...the BUZZCREW-St. Mike's sorority tickle fight BBQ has been cancelled. I guess we'll just go back to beer pong, body shots, and roofie roulette.
Madonna was recently injured in a horseback riding accident. No word on why Tori Spelling was wearing a saddle.
A 50 person pillow fight broke out on Church St. over the weekend, arrests were made for disorderly conduct. This just in...the BUZZCREW-St. Mike's sorority tickle fight BBQ has been cancelled. I guess we'll just go back to beer pong, body shots, and roofie roulette.
Madonna was recently injured in a horseback riding accident. No word on why Tori Spelling was wearing a saddle.
Monday, April 13, 2009
POWBLOG2
The U.S. Border Patrol will increase surveillance of the Canadian border. Despite increased security, authorities can not promise complete protection from Circ du Soleil.
The terror alert system has been upgraded to code level...FABULOUS!!!
People in shiny spandex bodysuits skipping through fully engulfed fire hoops while dangling from wet and wiggley spaghetti noodles...I'll take 2 tix please.
The terror alert system has been upgraded to code level...FABULOUS!!!
People in shiny spandex bodysuits skipping through fully engulfed fire hoops while dangling from wet and wiggley spaghetti noodles...I'll take 2 tix please.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
POWBLOG1
I'm here with the voices inside my melon ready to aggravate, irritate, and annoy. Enjoy the mental ramblings and scattered musings to follow.
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